A Fairy Tale Marriage
Most of us girls grew up watching fairy tales – Beauty and the Beast, Cinderella, Snow White, and so on. These movies inspired a dream in my mind that I would one day have a fairy tale-like prince who would sweep me off my feet, and we would live happily ever after. The issue with that idea is that I was never told that I had to do anything to have a happily ever after. I had this false idea that when I found an amazing guy everything else would work itself out. Now, I’ve heard the ideology that we are all flawed individuals so therefore a happily ever after isn’t a reality. I don’t agree with that either. Instead, I have finally figured out that if I want an amazing marriage, I must create it. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.
When I want flowers, date nights, and romance, I need to ask for it. I also sometimes must plan it. I married an absolutely wonderful, Christian man, but he doesn’t need romanced and loved on like I do. He perceives love differently and therefore loves on me different than I understand sometimes. In Cinderella, the prince knows all of the right things to do to show Cinderella that he is interested in her, but that is not how real life typically works. Ben is not a mind reader, and he certainly hasn’t watched all the romantic comedies that I have to develop the same ideas of what romance is.
About a year ago, I was in a rut. I was frustrated that Ben didn’t try to swoon me every chance he could. We were both tired at night, and date nights were beginning to decrease in frequency. I sat on the couch disappointed that I didn’t have the fairy tale marriage that I was expecting, when I finally realized that I can create my own fairy tale with my husband if I was intentional about it. I saw a Facebook friend post about their monthly date nights, and I felt enlightened to start our own date night tradition.
We now have a monthly budget set up for date nights where we have $250 dollars to spoil the other person. Every month one of us chooses a word – just 1 word. This word can be absolutely anything like photography, China, pizza, puppies, etc. With this one word, the other person turns up their creativity and plans a night or a day centered around that word. With this, each person gets to have some say in the date night, but the other person can completely surprise the other with thoughtful ideas. Every month we switch who chooses the word. We rarely spend the entire $250, but it allows us to have the budget to dream pretty big and truly invest into our marriage – which is something we value greatly.
Our date nights along with a new mentality that fairy tale marriages are created, not given, has given our marriage a new revitalization that we both love! You are the master of your destiny based upon the actions and decisions that you make every day. I hope you’ll invest in your marriage or relationship to build the fairy tale you’ve always dreamed about.